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Oink Oink

Oink Oink
Ronald Roy — Oct. 9, 2013

If I were challenged by a P-Noy-basher to cite some positive traits of Pres. Noynoy Aquino, I would list down Outgoing, Idealistic, Noble, Kind, Optimistic, Inspirational, Neat and Knowledgeable. And if I were to facilitate quick recall, I would use the acronym of “oink oink”. So, in keeping with the spirit of the season, permit me to change the President’s name from Nonoy Aquino to Oink Oink Aquino.
Lest we forget, if there is one truly outstanding trait that Pres. Oink Oink Aquino possesses, it is his ability to remain unruffled as he reins in speculations that his government is on the verge of collapse.
He beams with smug confidence and scornful defiance as he dares his critics to impeach him, knowing that a “friendly” impeachment complaint has already been filed in the House of Representatives, with the effect of granting him immunity from succeeding impeachment complaints for the ensuing 12 months—not to mention his cocky self-assurance that he has more than enough in pork, DAP (Disbursement Acceleration Program) or Malampaya largess to forestall avaricious solons from impeaching him.
Oink Oink Aquino bumptiously challenges his bashers to a legal debate over his claim that he did not commit the impeachable felony of Bribery, because his tender of 50 million pesos to 100 million pesos to each of the 20 impeachment senators who convicted then CJ Renato C. Corona, was made after, not before, they reached a guilty verdict. Ha?!
The President should fire his spokesman, Atty. Edwin Lacierda (yup, the guy’s a lawyer) for having influenced him to use that confounded argument. The provisions on Bribery under the Revised Penal Code (Act No. 3815, as amended) are quite clear that the subject tender would have constituted Bribery even if made months after the judgement (as in fact it was), and that a mere promise of a reward would have constituted the said crime just the same.
The sycophants around Pres. Oink Oink insist he is not liable for anything, certainly not the author of the world-famous “daang matuwid” mantra against corruption!Yes, it would seem that the president’s palisades are so formidable as to dash hopes for his ouster from office, judging on the basis of the following factors.
1) The cited “friendly” impeachment complaint filed by that guy again, Oliver Lozano! By the way, I wonder if I am alone in believing that filing “friendly” impeachment complaints is the secret behind his reportedly flourishing legal practice.
2) The baloney-position taken by Ombudsman Conchita Carpio Morales that prevention is the only cure for corruption. She could have opined that capital punishment, or better still the death penalty, is the only deterrent to the unconscionable plunder of public coffers. Her failure (refusal?) to do so pathetically downplays the constitutional majesty of her Office.
3) The contention that it is Department of Budget and Mismanagement Sec. Florencio “Butch” Abad, not Pres. Oink Oink, who should be held accountable for all the plundered pork loot. Excuse me. Oink Oink’s lackeys conveniently forget the fundamental legal principle that members of his official family (the Cabinet) are his “alter egos” (other selves) whose official actions and/or words are deemed to be his, except of course where their official actions and/or words are so manifestly unlawful as border on the “mala in se” (intrinsically immoral) species of wrongdoings, or are contrary to his express instructions.
4) The “Ninoy-guide-your-son-Noynoy”carnival that the Oct. 4 rally turned out to be, instead of the “Oust P-Noy” tempest that it was expected to be. The main speakers spanked Oink Oink, slapped him on the wrists, and hit him with kids’ gloves. No one hollered for his resignation. Leaders from the Concerned Citizens Movement were not given a chance to speak. But then, is not Makati City’s Ayala Avenue considered to be “yellow territory”, just like the vicinity of the Edsa Shrine in Pasig City is?
5) Commission on Audit Chair Maria Gracia Pulido-Tan’s obvious sense of selective justice by zeroing in on Oink Oink’s political enemies, and his diversionary or squid tactics raising fresh plunder charges against his predecessor, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.
Having said that Butch is Abad teammate for Oink Oink, I find it virtually impossible that the former will clear the latter of any responsibility by owning up to pork barrel and/or DAP-related anomalies. He can scrub him up clean if he wants to; but whether he will if the price is right, well, that should not be a problem between two birds of the same feather.
However, I’d like to assure you, dear Reader, that an unholy deal like this will fail. Oink Oink’s credibility–dont let those ratings fool you–has plunged so low that his only salvation from eternal damnation is to voluntarily step down and graciously allow the constitutional process of succession to take its course.
Who, the Boy Scout who reportedly plans to come to our rescue by tossing us out of the frying pan into the fire?! Hmmm…


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