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Syndrome

Syndrome

Ronald Roy

Ever heard of Lamme’s syndrome? No you haven’t because I made it up just now. Our fictional character’s name is Keanu Lamme—pronounced as in the vernacular kinulam—whose condition of depression often drove him to sudden fits of strange behavior, like laughing at nothing or babbling alone in the dark.
Lamme’s dementia is remembered as having flared up moments after his hand was caught in the cookie jar a second time in a hardware store where he worked. For this he was fired. He is also remembered as having often hidden himself from evil spirits thrown upon him by imaginary enemies. Unable to bear the curse, he took his life three weeks after he lost his job. Hereunder is his story.
One day a stooped octogenarian lady carrying a huge bag of groceries was crossing a street, followed closely by big and burly Lamme. Suddenly the old woman tripped, landed on all fours, then helplessly watched as her oranges and apples rolled away. Lamme stopped, bent over the fallen figure, broke out in stitches, and proceeded to cross the street. But bystanders did not find this funny. They stared him down as three other onlookers rushed to pick up the old lady and her groceries.
Lamme lashed out at them: “So?! Why are you all staring at me like that? There is no law obliging me to help her, is there? She looked ridiculous hunched there like a baby bear that escaped from the zoo, and I laughed! Anything illegal about that?!” Of course Lamme did not do a single illegal act, but he entirely missed the point–like someone we know who loves to pontificate that anything is okay provided it is legal.
Lamme’s conduct might not have been illegal, but it certainly was unacceptable to any civilized society in the planet. I seriously doubt though this point can be driven through the thick skulls of numerous Neanderthal remnants of Gloria Arroyo’s regime. With President-elect Noynoy (P-Noy) now standing on the threshold of the presidency, these Neanderthals are still glued to their seats on the exhortation of Chief Neanderthal Gloria Arroyo not to submit their courtesy resignations, notwithstanding the tradition to the contrary!
Gloria Arroyo is on the way out, just like four-star AFP Chief of Staff Delfin Bangit, along with her cabinet members and other appointees serving at her pleasure. What is seen here is that their collective behavioral aberration far surpasses the harmful dimensions of Lamme’s syndrome. Now Gen. Bangit is reportedly hurting and desirous to be treated with honor and dignity. Unless gripped by Lamme’s syndrome, Bangit should realize he has only himself to blame for the problems he has himself created.
Owing to the mounting public resistance to his scandalous midnight appointment, he should have much earlier politely turned down the same for the good of his commander-in-chief, the military service, the people in general, and himself in particular. Then he surely would have been hailed as an honorable professional soldier who thought of himself last.
I usually don’t stress the obvious, but I’ll do it just the same. Officers of PMA Class’78 were made to jump over their more deserving seniors from Class’77 in a plot—masterminded by Ramos and/or Ermita?—precisely to boost loyalty and muscle for a self-seeking tyrant. But now that they’re practically out in the cold with the coming retirement of their former classmate Bangit, moping like brats is the least Class’78 needs to refurbish their professional image. All this because of lust for power!
While Lamme’s syndrome is known to occur in isolated cases, a deadlier syndrome may yet be discovered and feared for its power to endanger the moral values not only of government but also an entire society. Let’s call this Gloria’s syndrome.
Gloria’s syndrome is characterized by inferiority complex—possibly because of her diminutive stature–compounded by delusions of grandeur, avarice, unfounded finger pointing (with poor Erap being once more at the receiving end), false pride, proclivities such as for lying, cheating, blasphemy (“God told me last night not to resign”) and a whole lot of manias. It is hoped that Gloria’s syndrome does not get the better of all we cherish in our wobbly democracy. But it’s all up to the support we are willing to give P-Noy.
In the end though, it will depend on P-Noy’s kind of leadership that can inspire all Filipinos to brace up against the onslaught of more devastating natural calamities and the inexorable barrage of more crippling taxes. Without divine intervention it will be impossible for the next administration to undo in six years the moral and economic wreck that Gloria heaped upon our lives. It will take a whole generation to do this, it is said, but P-Noy’s best efforts should suffice. Hopefully.
Gloria Arroyo now trumpets her legacy of hard work, a robust economy and other triumphs. Harrumph! @! #%–this has got to be the most outstanding symptom of Gloria’s syndrome.

(Email: arnydolor@yahoo.com, cell # 09186449517, landline # (02)710701)

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