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God Forgive Me

God Forgive Me
Ronald Roy

I may already have become blasé to the blessings and dreams of democracy. Nearly ten years have lapsed, and the bitchy little demon is still in our midst. Make no mistake about it: There is a real and present danger of her loitering around in the corridors of purloined power well beyond 2010, thanks to a failure of elections that will result from a dazzling display of smartmagic, coupled with a series of Maguindanao-like anarchic events calling for her to hold on to power “to save the Republic”—a tyrant’s usual deceptive exhortation of self-legitimacy.
I will be the least surprised if the coming months unfold that way. Already the Ampatuan-staged carnage has triggered the process of mind-conditioning designed to make us accept—so it would seem—our groveling servility to her queenship. Wishing to latch on to power to stave off prosecution and perpetuate her raid on the national coffers, she will continue to rule a country of worsening unemployment and business downtrends. In fine, she will continue to preside over a state of inevitable total economic collapse. Jose Osias of Mandirigma agreed, but added he feared a more horrifying scenario.
In five minutes, Joe delivered his coup de grâce against the enemies of democracy. Mincing no words, he said: “The massacre by the Ampatuans of fifty-seven innocent people including thirty journalists was an occasion Gloria Arroyo and her cabal will now seize to pursue their tyrannical governance even at the expense of throwing the country into a state of civil war. We are the next Somalia, Ron!” I have since been mulling how, indeed, Joe’s crystal ball could be murky, given the woman’s monstrosity and impunity.
Joe’s logic seems to be compelling in advancing the thesis—anchored on the given fact that she is as ruthless and resolute in becoming the Prime Minister or revolutionary leader in a new political setting—that America would not mind a civil war in the islands as long as its interests in Mindanao were secured in accordance with a covert quid pro quo agreement between Obama and Arroyo. The fraudulent election of officials in key provinces like Bulacan, Pampanga and La Union will signal the need for a popular resistance to a brewing internecine strife among Filipinos. Warlord-held fiefdoms will spread like a cancer, and whether the resisting patriots succeed or not in the long run will depend largely on how equal they will be to the task. Only time will tell.
For a better understanding of her vile nature, I have concluded Arroyo is nothing less than a terrorist who will not stop at anything, and who becomes more dangerous whenever threatened, just as she now is threatened by the worldwide perception that the carnage was caused by her lack of leadership, if not her pampering gratitude to the Ampatuans who cheated for her and her senatorial candidates in 2004 and 2007. It would defy logic to think otherwise, to suppose the filing of her COC for congressman meant nothing less than the pure altruism of public service.
All these years I have tried to fathom out the extent of Gloria Arroyo’s evil nature, guessing along the way and often giving her the benefit of the doubt at every possible opportunity. Often I have reminded myself that judging others is a prohibition of my faith, and that one day my patience would be rewarded with a new sunrise, a new life joyously liberated from the manacles of hell. But now, I know it would be impossible to see that day if we merely folded our arms and did nothing to avenge the atrocity of Maguindanao, one that shook the world with an immensity beyond imagination. That I am to this day devastated is an understatement.
Never mind the legalistic strictures of evidence. By media accounts, I stand morally certain that Mayor Andal Ampatuan Jr., who has been identified as the mastermind, is fronting for his father, the billionaire governor of Maguindanao. What they conspired to do that took the lives of innocent people is the yardstick by which I measure Gloria Arroyo’s capacity to bring such dishonor to the country as causes all the peoples of the world to cringe in horror over the depravity of the heinous crimes that may dwarf modern-day pogroms anywhere.
I remain in a state of shock and trauma. In my mind as a man, I have been brutalized, castrated, disemboweled, and decapitated. As a Filipino, ashamed. As a Christian, an agnostic all over again. The essential vileness of these monsters is overwhelming beyond comprehension. Nothing will give me greater pleasure than to hold the muzzle of a .45 caliber pistol to her head and empty the magazine. I’d like to unleash a stream of invective punctuated with five-letter words, but I will not for fear she may ask if a rain check will do. God forgive me. (Email: arnydolor@yahoo.com, cell # 09186449517, landline # (02)7106701)

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