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The Speaker Speaks Moronic

December 22, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

The Speaker Speaks Moronic
Ronald Roy  — December 22, 2008

        Apparently, with Speaker Prospero Nograles’ recent criticism of members of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, the House leader has a scant understanding of his role as the head of the chamber’s members who, in turn, represent the residents of their respective electoral districts all over the country.  If only for this, Mr. Nograles is a national personality, not a parochial satrap.  In a real sense he represents all the citizens of this country.  And this is where the ignominy is, because his horrendous criticism of our bishops is deemed nationwide in scope.

       By saying that bishops (and religious figures of whatever religion, I suppose) are fallible elements in our political life and, as such, have therefore no business in interfering in what he claims to be the lower house’s exclusive prerogatives on matters related to charter change, he betrays his lack of intellectual marksmanship by missing the point.  In fine, he underscores that the religious are incompetent in the area of charter change because they are not politicians  My God, how can such a moronic view qualify a member of Congress for Speaker?

       Is Mr. Nograles suggesting that any congressman who lusts to become his chamber’s exalted chief may do so through ways and means not commonly associated with character, integrity and service-orientedness, but through artifices usually related to the acquisition of political power, the mad hold thereon, and the usual runaway ambition for higher offices?!  

       How then can Nograles call himself an authentic public servant, when he cannot comprehend that priests, precisely because they are society’s moral guardians especially now that government corruption has sunk to such unprecedented depths, are among the most reliable discerners of politics within its moral dimension?  Isn’t Nograles in effect saying that the only self-seeking rules of legislators, not even morals, are those that principally govern the nation’s political life?

       Hmm, it is indeed as if Nograles were saying that soldiers do not belong in the business of national defense whether in peace and war, or doctors and nurses are incompetent dispensers of cure and hope to the infirm.  I hope texter 1544 finds satisfactory the foregoing comment on the Speaker’s nonsense.

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       I complained to my doctors of appetite loss, gastric problems and constant vomiting. They subjected me to a thorough endoscopic probe and discovered an hernia in my diaphragm caused by emaciated muscles arising from the aging process, benign polyps in my colon, an extremely enlarged prostate, and three uric stones, one in each kidney and the urether.  After lasering the urether stone, they decided to release me with instructions to return in mid-January for more procedures.  For two weeks out of confinement, I suffered the harassing discomforts of frequent urination into a plastic bag tied above my left ankle and attached to a catheter imbedded six inches in my urethra. Thank God it isn’t there anymore because of my natural recuperative powers. 

       My Tribune neighbor, Ding Lichauco, told me to add to my daily dose of zinc a powerful Chinese medicine called Zilongzin to reduce if not eliminate the prostatic swelling.  Ding also gave me a jug of miraculous water from a well in Pangasinan, dug sometime back by a sixteen year old visionary named Roel Darang on instructions of the Blessed Mother.  But that’s another story which Ding will hopefully write about one day. One kidney stone is as large as an American-sized peanut.  But the third and last stone is as alarmingly large as a golf ball, so large that it may have to be extracted only by traditional intrusive surgery.  Intrusive surgery is commonly fraught with life-threatening risks from which I don’t remain exempted. 

       Complicating the rigmarole is my pacemaker implant.  God Almighty, if I make it, it’s got to be a miracle!  But if I don’t, You will have to explain to me why You gave me an enormous appetite that now leaves me a fractional chance for survival.  I’m normally a private person, and nothing can be more personal than my health ravaged by old age.  But I don’t hesitate to reveal embarrassing details about threats to my wellness, because I deem it a duty to advise others to avoid two things, namely, aging (bawal tumanda, ha ha ha) and rich foods.    

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       We all gotta go, sooner or later, and aging will see to that.  Aging saw to it that the so-called invincible athletes like Joe Louis, Sampras, and lately de la Hoya were retired by younger, faster, stronger, and hungrier antagonists.  I had no doubt Manny Pacquiao would pummel de la Hoya to an embarrassing submission somewhere after the eighth.  He was rising age-wise, gaining more experience at 29 and, to my mind, would be peaking at 33 with a welterweight’s punch. I wrote this four years ago. Now  that he is a natural welterweight, I’m sure he wields a punch that can knock out a heavyweight.

       I won a dinner bet from a friend when I wagered the Pacman would kayo de la Hoya.  He “called” my dinner bet laughing and arguing it was not possible to kayo bigger and heavier fighters.  My reply to him: The brain of a heavyweight is the same size as that of a featherweight.  If Manny the featherweight kayoed his featherweight opponents, there is no reason he cannot now kayo a heavyweight! I write this to dispute the belief that the brain of a heavyweight is more impervious to harm than that of a pugilist from a lighter division. 

       May the joys of Yuletide fill your homes not only this season of grace but always!

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