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OF BITCHES AND ITCHES, DOYENS AND OMENS

February 27, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

OF BITCHES AND ITCHES, DOYENS AND OMENS
Ronald Roy  -February 27, 2008

       I don’t think it is fair, #3443, to call Mrs. Gloria Macapal-Arrovo a wanton slut just because she has of late gained the unenviable sobriquet of BITCH in the eyes of the international community. It is not fair to her and all our mothers, wives and daughters.  It is bad enough that the word “filipinas” is still used in reference to Filipino women working in American homes as domestic helpers. And now, this sluttish word! But perhaps you cannot be blamed because the fake president has soiled herself with such notoriety.  Perhaps, too, guys like Chavit Singson, Nani Perez, Mike Defensor and Peter Favila should step forward to calm down the prurient-minded, in a gallant defense of her lily-white chastity, whether or not such apologia is meritorious.

       In the most ordinary sense, bitches are female dogs in heat which prowl and howl for mates throughout the day and night. Jose Salcedo, who started it all by publicly saying “The president (was) the luckiest bitch around,” suddenly became a knight in shining armor after realizing, albeit a split second too late, that his utterance had been recorded for public consumption.  Quickly, he defended his queen as a strong-willed leader who takes no for an answer, very much like a termagant letting out do’s and don’ts at her harried husband whose ‘round-the-house inefficiency has become her most vexing pickle. Of course, I have given Salcedo the benefit of the doubt as to a possible veiled malice in his words. In any event, I’ll grade him excellent for his presence of mind, that quality that stands out as her royal highness’s management style and guile. No wonder he’s still in her majesty’s confidence. Birds of the same feather, eh?!

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       An ITCH is sometimes understood as an irresistible desire, a proclivity if you will, to do something evil, such as stealing; and stealing, more than lying and cheating within the purview of criminal law, is, in light of divine injunctions, perhaps the greatest offense against God. “Thou shalt not steal” is the seventh of our Lord’s ten commandments. And yet, if you come to think of it, the elemental depravity in most of the ten commandments is found in stealing. For instance, if you commit adultery, you steal your spouse’s right to a stable and harmonious marriage; and it’s the same thing in coveting your neighbor’s wife.

       If you kill without just cause, you steal from God His exclusive right to take the life that He gave your victim.  If you do not honor your father and mother, especially in public, you steal from them their natural right to be respected by you and others. If you covet your neighbor’s goods, you steal from him, and so on, not to mention Gloria’s stealing of two presidencies. What I am trying to say, #6369, is that among the three crimes of stealing, lying and cheating ascribed to Gloria and her co-conspirators, stealing is the most despicable wrongdoing.

       Indeed, common is the ITCH to lie, to cover up, to hoodwink and twist, to plunder, to zap leftists and other dissenters, to bribe and abduct witnesses, to unleash the BIR dogs of war upon uncooperative businessmen, to salt their ill-gotten wealth out to foreign countries like Portugal, a country that has no extradition treaty with the Philippines and has thereby been reportedly tapped  by Mr. and Mrs. Jose Pidal as the latest haven for their loot.  These itches are not the epidermal irritations which the Arroyos simply scratch for instant relief. They are skin irritations that ever-so-slowly plow deep into their bodies until maggots transform them to dust before corroding their souls.

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       DOYENS are male heads of organizations. In the case of the first family, the doyen is Jose Miguel T. Arroyo, husband, father and grandfather wielding authority, I think, under the traditional norms governing Filipino families. Well, Mike Arroyo does not appear to be a distinguished doyen in civic, political, sports and social circles.  He is an alumnus of the Ateneo de Manila and a member of the Integrated Bar of the Philippines; but he is not known ever to have moved beyond the level of mediocrity among his peers in both areas.  I do not belittle him for his documented intellectual inferiority, but his overacting is obvious when he claims he is an unsophisticated lawyer practicing law as a breadwinner, and is not an accountant who reads balance sheets, budgets and the technical argots of some complicated contracts like the ZTE deal. Oh yeah? You must then be a boob, Mike. Okay, granted. But surely you can use your fingers to count the numerals and zeroes representing a kickback, no?! 

       Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile (JPE) was a doyen in the time of President Ferdinand E. Marcos (FM) as the latter’s Secretary of National Defense among other cabinet hats which JPE’s brilliant head then wore.  It was Johnny who recommended me for FM’s appointment to the Land Bank Board of Directors. For many years, whenever possible, he would ask me to join him at his table at the Peninsula Hotel. He once sent me a note from his detention quarters (an undeserved confinement, courtesy of then President Cory Aquino and her Justice Secretary Franklin Drilon) a part of which read, “Ronnie, after I get out of here, you and I will resurrect the Nationalista Party which your father headed as its president until 1986, the year of his death.”  When I was president of a logging company, JPE offered to help me by recommending a logging work force, an offer which I gratefully turned down because I had already organized one.  Johnny was among the principal sponsors at my son’s (Jose M. Roy III) wedding. We were that close.

       But a few days ago, his public utterance suggested that if, per chance, it was he, not Cory, who had become the revolutionary president, he would have himself become a dictator. In effect, he said at the 22nd anniversary celebration of Edsa I that he could not blame Gloria for holding on to power, at any and all costs, because Gloria would be dead if she resigned. That’s why Cory remained unfazed, though she hid under her bed, under a succession of Gringo Honasan-led putsches.  Doing a Cory is Gloria’s only way to survive, suggests JPE. 

       The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) comprises 120 doyens, with each being the head of a diocese. The current rumor is that a sizeable number of them who are anti-Gloria have each been pressured to remain at least neutral, and that now they cannot see the evil of Gloria because of the blinding glitter of thirty pieces of silver they have each received in brown paper bags.  If there is anything that the latest pastoral letter did, it fortified its previous statement exhorting Gloria, the center and source of all corruption, to expurgate government and society at all their levels, without cleansing herself.  In other words, these “holy” doyens have absolved Gloria and condemned everybody else.  Hey bishops, remember that “much has been given you, and much is expected of you.”

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       OMENS are signs of usually dire things to come.  We saw a number of them at the cited anniversary occasion. 1) Handled by VP Noli de Cashtro, the rope got stuck, causing the flag to remain at half mast.  2) When everybody was halfway through the national anthem, the minus one malfunctioned. 3) AFP Chief of Staff Hermogenes Esperon, Jr., agape and gazing skyward, reportedly failed to dodge as a bird came swooping down to drop its heavenly turd right into his mouth. 4) The octogenarian Fidel V. Ramos reportedly made a mess of himself as he failed to make it to the nearest restroom. 5) Confetti did not gracefully waft from the sky, but menacingly flittered down as if weighted by pellets.

       You wanna bet we haven’t heard the worst from those red hats yet?

 

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