February 14, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

Ronald Roy  -February 14, 2008

       Alas. I’m finally at the receiving end of a supposed member of the 120-strong Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP). He phoned me saying his name didn’t matter, and that he was speaking for his fellow-bishops whom “you, Roy, have called modern-day Rasputins, Judas Iscariots and Pharisees. You have no knowledge whatsoever of our vows of poverty and obedience. You hypocritically stand on the elitist pedestal bequeathed to you by a wealthy father, and from there you spew nothing but vitriol at us, the Lord’s disciples. It is you, Roy, not us who will go to hell unless you seriously observe Lent, the season of repentance and renewal, (blah, blah!).” He clicked off his call before I could say a word. Thank you, Raspu-cariot-risee (infra), for your call.

       Thank you for a lenten “homily” which no Christian can claim to have had enough of. I say AMEN to your discourse, except for this: He was the owner of 971 hectares of riceland in Nueva Ecija which he, in 1946, relinquished to his farmer-tenants in order to quell a brewing revolt for land reform.  For this, he quickly gained the admiration of Hukbalahap Supremo Pedro Taruc. Mr. Taruc would later tell me in 1982 that my father was by heart a socialist who selflessly gave away his landholdings to agricultural workers, adding that “he also gave so much of himself as a pro-poor legislator.” 

       Raspu-cariot-risees, my acronym for Rasputins, Iscariots and Pharisees, abound among the Roman Catholic clergy all over the world, our CBCP included.  As a Roman Catholic, I request you to kindly enlighten me on your vow of poverty in light of your ownership of tax-free cash gifts inside paper bags, tax-free expensive items in beribboned boxes, tax-free realty assets, tax-free vehicular possessions, and countless other tax-free perks, all courtesy of the runt who is reputed to be the most corrupt Filipino president ever to have stolen and bribed so massively in billions of pesos.

       I also question your alleged vow of obedience. God supports us in our struggle against the despotic runt, but all you raspu-cariot-risees signed that revolting CBCP Statement condemning us for not “critically collaborating” with her.  May I ask whom you obey, God or the Devil?

       Finally, I suggest you raspu-cariot-risees confess your mortal (hopefully not blasphemous) violations of both vows, not only to one another, but also to all the faithful by way of a public apology to all the Christian communities in this country.  Nothing less will restore the respect with which some of us once regarded you. 

*                                   *                                   *

       PUBLIC OPINION has determined it is Rodolfo Noel Lozada, Jr. (J Lo, for short) to be the “man of the hour” the nation has been waiting for over the past close to eight years to crush, hopefully forever, the monstrous Gloria Macapal Arrovo regime.  We have heard and read all over print, radio and television a new political tarmac savior – not quite as dramatic as the late Ninoy Aquino – but a hero nonetheless, who has come to liberate us with a unique composite of candor, straightforwardness and comicality with any of which any one would easily identify oneself.  In terms of candor and hilarity, I could identify myself with J Lo. J Lo’s name is on the lips of nineteen out of twenty people. His name recall is as extraordinary as Manny Pacquiao’s.  How do you, readers, identify yourselves with Rodolfo Noel Lozada, Jr.?

       This question is important if you want to know why his name is often on your lips, in your hearts, and in your minds. Because, if that were the case, then J Lo could be just another amusing Rambo, Batman or Superman feeding on your escapist fantasies. Now, that wouldn’t exactly be a realistic understanding of a super hero, would it? It’s one thing to applaud an Andres Bonifacio, but quite another thing to cheer the screen idol Sylvester Stallone. So, I ask you individually to examine yourselves with the question: “Am I a patriotic catalyst involved in the search for a change of our shameless socio-political culture of endemic corruption, or just a Pinoy in search of a good seat for transient entertainment in a movie house?”

       And yet, on the matter of J Lo’s composite of human attributes, three other things come to mind in sketching him as a CREDIBLE and COURAGEOUS witness, to wit: good-humor, wisdom and truth.  I quote sages from the past, thus:

1. “Good-humor is goodness and wisdom combined” – Owen Meredith;
2. “Wisdom is found only in truth” – Goethe; and
3. “Truth, ever lovely since the world began, is the foe of tyrants, and the friend of man” – Campbell. 

       Thank you, J Lo, for telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, even if that truth as you see it, is formed on a wrong basis.  Whatever, my friend, don’t fear, but with courage, find solace in the assurance of Abraham Lincoln: “that PUBLIC OPINION, though often formed on a wrong basis, yet generally has a strong underlying sense of justice.”  As we stand by your side, J Lo, albeit from diverse political persuasions, we are bound by a common sense of justice – your sense of justice.

       And speaking of diverse political persuasions, here’s a remark allegedly coming from GMA’s Chief Legal Adviser: “You pepul en de upusesyun, yur meking Prisidint Gluria golo. Ho es Jon Luzada eeneewee, ep not a cry me a riber? Dunt yu noo dat es tresun op di highist urdir?” My reply to that, Mr. Sergio Apostol, is this: You, sir, must be talking about the most heinous of political crimes called TREASON.  If I may refresh your tired old mind, sir, in TREASON, a condition sine qua non is that our country must be in a state of ACTUAL WAR with one or more foreign countries. Now, pray tell me, sir, where is the foreign enemy  we’re supposed to be at war with?  Anyway, it is not my intention to disparage your mind that is probably afflicted with senility. In fact, I would like to thank you for belittling the sovereign Filipino’s patriotic sense of justice for, by your unintended dementia, you have unwittingly pushed the public outrage to a new high point, which may well trigger the downfall of the despot sooner than she thinks.

       While we are adrift in the flow of thanksgiving, let us turn to Sen. “Brenda” Defensor-Santiago and thank her as well: “Madam senator, you razzle-dazzled us with your spectacular performance which all but brought J Lo down to his knees with tears streaming from his optic slits.  There is no doubt in our minds your display of interrogative prowess easily qualifies yourself as a shoe-in for a seat in the prestigious International Court of Justice.  Our only concern, Madam, is how your colleagues in that tribunal can deal with your quaint diction as you from time to time will need to perorate on material points with a cocked revolver held in your hand.

       Last but not the least, let us thank the Honorable Shit from the Bicol region (no disparagement intended), Joker (it’s time he did away with his outrageous first name) Arroyo.  There are two funny things we will always remember him by. 1. “Re-elect me as senator, my beloved countrymen. I promise to put an end to graft and corruption.” 2. “Hey, you’d better stop messing with my wife behind my back, okay?!”  For this comic relief, Joker, I pray you remain in the tense-filled upper house. Without hilarious jokers like you, the Senate of the Philippines would be nothing more than the most entertaining circus in town.

       #0143: Any political prognostications, sir? Well, my crystal ball is murky this Valentine season. So this is all I can say: MAYBE the troika will be reconstituted by PGMA, FVR, and JDV for reasons of collective survival; and 2. Again, MAYBE, Rodolfo Noel Lozado, Jr., will lead us out into the silvery dawn of freedom. But then again, MAYBE NOT.  The next move is ours; he has done his part. At 4 pm today, let us make that final move.  In any event, thank you, Jun Lozada, thank you!


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