Home > Ronald Roy > Goofs, gaffes, barbarians and barbarisms!

Goofs, gaffes, barbarians and barbarisms!

November 22, 2007 Leave a comment Go to comments

Goofs, gaffes, barbarians and barbarisms!
Ronald Roy  -November 22, 2007

       Marianette Amper died of asphyxiation by hanging at the age of somewhere between eleven and twelve. As deduced from her own diary, hers was an unhappy short life wrought by grinding poverty. Her diary contains her testament in her own words, and her story should end there. Deserving condemnation is any attempt at sensationalism by media, obscurantism by investigators out to prove poverty did not cause her death, or just plain diabolism that feeds on salacious speculations of intra-family incest, rape or even a young girl’s curiosity-driven self-infliction. The child is dead, for crying out loud! Let’s honor her memory with a prayer, so we can all move on against Gloria and her gang.

       It makes one wonder if the Devil himself has dragged Marianette to a “turf” quarrel between two Davaoeños, Mayor Rodrigo Duterte and Gloria ally Cong. Prospero Nograles, reportedly a leading contender for the Speakership and a staunch protector of the small despot against any and all impeachment bids. Nograles is stupid if he thinks he can convince us that all Gloria bootlickers in the House will abide by the mandate of their respective district constituencies—as a matter of individual conscience and civic duty!! Did you hear that?! Hoy, Nograles, totoong gago ka talaga!

       Mr. Ignacio Bunye cannot help but sound like a broken record every time he has to parrot Gloria’s clichéd propaganda lines about how well the economy has done under her watch. One look at his face tells you he is utterly bored to death mouthing the same lies for his benefactress. But because he is paid very, very, very well to perform his myna-bird role, he obsequiously does his job while hoping his listeners will eventually succumb to a hypnotic state of acceptance. He is a moron if he thinks Filipinos will fall for the Nazi trick that a lie becomes a fact if repeated often enough. Perhaps under normal times, yes, Mr. Bunye, the trick might work. But the tyrant herself has created the abnormally repressive times for her own survival. In the end, you will be very, very, very sorry you were once a parrot for a woman.

       Not surprisingly, most of my readers respond to the spiritual contents of my articles. While I find that most gratifying, I wish to downplay a growing perception that I am a psychic mediator or intercessor for people in distress. They should directly address themselves to the Lord, or the Blessed Mother, any of their favorite saints, or even their guardian angels. Nonetheless, I am happy to note that my comments are somehow fostering a climate of spiritual enlightenment that we need in our struggle for freedom and justice. The only advice I can give you, #8809, is to stop blaming God for the denial of your visa despite your numerous prayers for its approval. The Lord must have had a special reason for not granting your wish. He knows what is good for each one of us. Our faith in Him must be unqualified and steadfast.

       My motto is: One learns more by just keeping quiet. Another way of putting it is: Be the master of your silence and let others be the slaves to their own noise. While a cousin if mine lay in state in Mount Carmel Church, my good friend Peping Cojuangco, Jr., Philippine Olympic Commission top honcho babbled on for fifty five minutes trying to make us believe “there are only two things that can hold this country together:” Manny Pacquiao and the so called EDSA spirit. I actually almost choked on my cough drop at one point of his “expert” discourse. Well, Peping was of course wrong. Pacquiao may even be the greatest pound-for-pound pugilist of all time, but how can Peping believe his own drivel when he very well knows that no sooner than a Pacquiao fight ends than we are back to our criminal ways evading taxes, bribing cops, slashing throats for a cell phone, etcetera?! Yes, all of us, not excluding Lito Atienza, “Sabit” Singson and the ailing (kuno) First Gentleman?!

       While we’re at this, let’s all wait for Arum’s project to materialize: Dela Joya versus Pacquiao, the biggest boxing spectacle of our time, big bucks and big bucks galore! The Pacman, he with the speed and stamina of a gazelle, and the killing punch of a light welterweight, is my winner by points or knockout. Any bets anyone? Let’s entrust all bets to His Eminence, Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales— ay naku, huwag ‘yan— rather, to His Grace, Oscar Cruz, with a request that he oversees this fund’s donation to the cash-strapped Magdalo families, to Ariel Querubin, Danilo Lim and other ailing patriots still in unjust detention. Agreed?

       Well, well, well!! Am I getting it loud and clear, that Gloria and all her round-the-clock lapdogs are out in full force blaming the World Bank for all the filth and corruption that has besieged her administration all this time?! If borrower A is extended a soft loan by creditor B, but does not use it for the project for which the loan has been granted, and instead pockets a large chunk of it for no other reason than personal aggrandizement, A (Gloria and her fellow barbarians) is morally and legally accountable under the contract of loan with B (World Bank), whichever way anybody cares to look at it. Anyway, now we know who this new chief of the Presidential Management Staff is. His name is Cerge Remonde, reportedly an obscure small-time radio announcer from the Republic of Cebu whose most solid credential is fierce loyalty to “the hand that feeds”.

       You’re quite right, #8152, Filipinos cannot be blamed for their lack of command of American idioms. An idiom, more than grammar, gives vitality to a sentence. “It is I”, although grammatically correct, is stilted when given as an answer to “Who is it?”. “It’s me” is preferred, although it is a grammatical anomaly. These verbal anomalies are the lingual soul of a people who speak, hear and read their language everyday of their lives. In other words, one has to be an American to have an idiomatic grasp of the American language.

       Filipino graduates from the best local schools (e.g. Ateneo de Manila, University of the Philippines, St. Theresa’s College and De La Salle University) cannot hold a candle to Americans in the field of American idioms.  And it is not at all surprising that Sen. Edgardo Angara, himself a noted lawyer and educator, often exhorts the country to “buckle down to work”— which is redundant because to buckle down means “to start working in earnest”. I hope #8152, a third year high school student, sees the redundancy here: “Let us buckle down to work” means “Let us start working in earnest to work”. Incidentally, Raul T. Concepcion, Chairman of the Consumer and Oil Price Watch, is a frequent user of this particular barbarism. To be fair, these two gentlemen should not be chastised for their errors, because, after all, they are Filipinos.

       But Mr. Sergio Apostol, Senior Legal Adviser of Mrs. Gloria M. Arroyo, has to return to school to relearn Law and English. Just to cite a few of his mistakes, the following are laughable if not unpardonable: “The people around the President cannot get their acts (instead of act) together”, “This results to (instead of in) anarchy”, “This is the complex crime of reckless imprudence resulting to (ouch!) homicide”, instead of homicide thru reckless imprudence. My favorite is Mr. Apostol’s classic: “The opposition is jumping from the fire into the frying pan”.

       No exception is Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita who frequently says more than he can chew. He should relearn to recite the alphabet because, along with his colleagues in the cabinet and allies in both houses of Congress, he has consistently pronounced the letter “Z” with a long “A”, as in the letter “J”. Of course I am being petty, but not without the hope that if they cannot see their booboos in governance, they may yet knuckle under the embarrassing realization that there is nothing to expect from their administration of goofs, gaffes, barbarians and barbarisms.

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